sw00543a-selfview.at65

Autobio           Another View of Myself


 [ The following was posted in a now-dead blog
     on August 30, 2006.  It opens with a quote 
     from an email I had written two days before. ]

 "I can't get past how different I am from others, but then,
 I have all these strange diseases/ or aspects of them.  I
 know I came close to being autistic.  Yesterday I learned
 I have some traits found in those with Asperger's Syndrome,
 a malady linked with autism.  On one site the author suggested
 Einstein and da Vinci were Asperger's candidates.  Hmm--!
 In reading some of my 1976 sonnets again, I did note how
 frenetic I can be sometimes.  Is my epileptic brain to blame?
 Not sure.  I do have tantrums and fit spells.  I do get
 obsessed.  I do get overly enchanted with and protective of/
 what I/ string together in my space.  I can rather easily be,
 or seem to be, aloof.  Numbers fascinate me.  Everything
 fascinates me.  Of course, words do.  Which brings up . . .
 the 'Language Poets'.  Spent much time late last night . . .
 reading about them at various online sites.  At one site, a site
 I have not completely gotten through yet, the author said
 that language poetry 'is not William Logan's cup of tea'.
 Do not know if William Logan still is, but when I studied
 under the late Donald Justice at UF in the mid 1980's,
 Mr. Logan was the head of UF's Creative Writing Program.
 Maybe you already know.  Anyway, one of my sonnets
 begins:
              I love the sonnet, so blustery free,
              laughing in its chains, . . .
 and ends:
              I hate the sonnet.  Don't you?
 Its present title is:
              Day 34. February 3rd
 -
 See, even though I in some ways have low self-esteem, I
 nonetheless am obviously, like an emotional vampire,
 persistently obsessed with myself."

 -
 Post Note:
 -
  While I am not always confessional,
  I never (sic) have been afraid to be; and/
  that is because however unpleasant
  my revealings) I believe/ whatever I
  reveal about myself is an exploration
  of the state of being Earth-alive, and
  so has the potential to be generalized
  sufficiently to be of service to others.
  -
  There is this, however:  The WWW/Internet
  noosphere is not--due to "necessary" ISP
  censorship--as open as I would prefer it
  to be.  Therefore, even while I censor
  myself--grudgingly--because I would rather
  entertain a broader audience than not have
  an audience at all, the right to free speech
  is a major unsolved online issue.     T U

  ~
  the itsy-bitsy gregarious hermit guy



 
34: February 3rd     at sonnets.org

 
Mental Health Disorders: alphabetical list


Brian A. J. Salchert