sw00808ekua-page3

Edges of Knowledge


Tuesday 2002-01-01     11:11am
-
Some want to tell me what they see in my future;

but what about what I see in my future?
Is it effort, effort, effort, effort;
                                        and no results?
Or have I forgotten what effort is?
Or have I become incapable of
whatever effort will be needed?


Sunday 2002-01-06     6:42pm
-
I am as I am;
yet
I need to be cognizant of 
the presence of God
and of God's graces;
and,
with the never-ending help
of His presence
& His graces,
I must strive to be
better than I am,
to accomplish things
of deep holy value,
regardless of
any recognition I get
or don't get.
- -
                      7pm
-
                      Self-pity
                      is deadly.


Monday 2002-01-21     11:53am
-
Remember,
  In spite of the fact I have a
  strongly pessimistic (melancholic)
  personality; in spite of the fact
  my words & actions are often
  deeply negative; in spite of the
  fact my wry humor serves as a
  cover for the anxiety and sadness
  gusting in me, every moment
  is God's moment; and so I pray.


Friday 200-02-01     12:27pm
-
With special thanks to Dr. Phil McGraw
and his current book, Self Matters

These:
          Defining Moments
          Critical Choices
          Pivotal People

I will be taking the time to list and meditate on mine.
*
In the first entry on this page I listed 10 goals,
most of which cannot be reached by a certain time,
but one of which, the 8th one, has been reached.
*
Although I have normally scored between 115 & 120 on IQ tests,
on 09JUN84 I took a GRE exam at UF, scoring V740 & Q630.
On 03AUG01, I learned that according to one online estimator
those scores placed my IQ between 140.55 & 143.35 and thus
in the percentile of 99.657.  Toot, toot!  I'm sorry, too many 
beans, I guess; but--yes--I would--and then some.
*
So often, by certain persons I have lived with over the years,
have I gotten reprimanded for not being perfectly practical in
this and that situation, that several moments ago I finally said:
Maybe I should have been put in an institution shortly after I
was born (so as not to be an annoyance and disappointment).


Monday 2002-02-04     1:14pm
-
(the following was written on 02/02/02)

I am an inveterate
perfectionist:
(mostly in things
others could give a diddle about);
I am an inveterate
complainer:
(mostly about things
others could give a diddle about);
and/ I suspect I know why.
Born.  The traits I was
born with (mental/emotional/physical)
coupled with the influence of
societal mores impinging on me
of non-human things /
become my balm & my poison.
Too, too sensitive,
I am probably a borderline
manic-depressive.
Without Jesus
there is no redemption.


Monday 200-02-25     2:53pm
-
Yesterday,
it occurred to me,
I (along with certain others) have an
on-edge
personality.


Wednesday 2002-03-04     2:27pm
-
O Lord,
I am such a wreck,
such a wreck!


Wednesday 2002-05-01     11:36am
-
The following is a poem I found in a folder yesterday,
a poem written in the mid 1980's when I was a student
under Donald Justice at The University of Florida.

 Angle of Vision

Ready to travel
the miles north,

we two,
about to part

another time,
twice kiss;

i do not walk her
to the door;

but from the bedroom
watch until

she's back in view
three stories below

and sits upon
her red suitcase

so placed
on the main walk

the patio's post
eclipses them,

and with her await
the maroon taxi

& move the suitcase
back a little

& pace &
check the time

and open its door
& lift onto

its back seat
the troubling case

& get in
& look up

& smile & wave
& wave & smile

because we want to
because we can.


Sunday 02-05-05     5:56pm
-
Lord, Jesus,
through each this moment along the Way,

thank You
for Your gifts today.
= = = 



Brian A. J. Salchert