sw00826ekua-page13

Edges of Knowledge


Thursday 2003-06-26
-
Arising early, I, slippering into my dishevelled den, blurted:
"Boostah, wholah, gahzhah"; and reaching above the top
level of the nearest of three metal shelvings I have long
used in that room, the shelving which is a catch-all for
everything from tennis shoes to envelopes to medicines,
turned the knob of my black snake-neck desk lamp there;
and png, flick, flash, was back into darkness.  I glanced at--
four levels below--what is now becoming my Topamax 
desk alarm: 6:17.  Doesn't it figure, I smiled in my head.

Friday 2003-06-27
-
And, when I first looked at the clock in my den after eight o"clock,
what time was it?: 8:11am.  So, if I've not crafted a single poem   
worthy of being placed in a best poems anthology, I am certain I
have written numerous sentences worthy of being placed in a best
quotations anthology.

And as to my math excursions, number theory journeyings 
interest me most, especially journeyings of my own design:
new-ways-of-seeing journeyings, no matter whether they
come to naught.  I titled my 1994 math excursion:
  Meanderings of an Amateur Mathematician
I noticed the other day I had at one time figured it came to
231 pages.  Fermat's Last Theorem--which for nearly 30
years I was sure could be verified geometrically, prime
numbers, the natural number summation sequence, and 
the like/ were the reasons for that book.  Approaches I
took were what I called: position math, final-digit math,
set math, interpolation math, etcetera.
  Two or three hours ago I went looking through a copy
of my first Meanderings for a fuller description of my
position math idea than the one I recently expressed.
If you find it too hard to understand, you need not try,
but here it is.  Sorry; I just looked at it again and found
it goes on and on; therefore, I am forced to give you
just part of it.
     from 10-3-92    p. 32b
        it so happens that at each position the
     number one needs to multiply the position
     by in order to get the divisible-by-4 number
     at that position is equal to twice the position
     plus 2.  Here is an example.  We know that
     at position 33 in the natural number summation
     sequence/ the number is 528, and that at po34
     561.  We also know that the greatest least
     part of 33 is 16, and that the least greatest
     part of 33 is 17, and that the relevant closed
     set (at po17) is 16, 17, 33, 528, 561; and that
   528 + 16 = 544 as well as does 561 - 17.
     . . . (& on, & on, & on) . . . .
What I want you to grasp from the above are these
concepts:
1) Order rules.  Whether such order is inherent or
     imposed/ does not matter.
2) Things need not be 1/ 2/ 3/ _so long as they are
     orderly.
3) Be creative.  Do not let yourself be trapped by the
     as-it-is.
These concepts set forth, I may as well also pass to
you, partially, what I recently expressed.
     Let 0 be the 1st number, which is to say, let
     position 1 be 0's position.  Accordingly, 1's
     position is position 2; and 100's position is
     position 101.  Then, instead of concentrating
     on the numbers, use the position, dividing it
     (whatever it is) by 2; and then multiply the
     resulting quotient by the number of that po
     to arrive at 5050 or, or, or, . . .  Take 3015847,
     which is at position 3015848.  3015848/2 =
     1507924; and--my calculator is too small to
     multiply 1507924 x 3015847.  I have named
     this method: position math.  I know: all I am
     really doing by this is giving a name to--while
     in a way demystifying--the inescapable . . .
     because I simply chose to change is to
    ((N + 1)/2)N by my 0 inclusion.
A note on the above which I should have be didn't
include is that my N + 1 = po = position.



-
Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00825ekua-page12

Edges of Knowledge


Thursday 2003-02-06     9:10am
-
I am scheduled to see my doctor at 1pm.

On Saturday last--
by certified mail in a small white box--
Janice's cremains.

On Monday last (or Tuesday perhaps)--
in the box for my mail--
my title for the 1998 sunset red 4-dr Metro.

On Sunday last--
in the priority mail package I finally opened--
the Christmas presents from my friends at MFAAA.
They were so beyond.
God favor those friends.

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday.

I have made a crude shrine
for Janice's cremains.
They remain in their box.


Friday 2003-02-07     11:53am
-
Also earlier this week
the new garbage units arrived
as well as hand-delivered welcome notices.
I now am having trouble finding
the original invoice for this Redman home.

Much rain last night:
enough that some seeped in
at the bottom of the damaged wall
in the master bedroom.
I placed some towels there temporarily.


Saturday 2003-02-08     10:01pm
-
Yesterday
on the west side of my place
were nearly 2 dozen warblers.
Today
on the east side
were 3 dozen or more
(in their soft migration)
attracted to the tree there
and its myriad berries.


Saturday 2003-02-15  
-
Wednesday
on the east side of my place
were 4 dozen plus warblers
when the taxi arrived
to take me to the bank;
and then from the post office
back to the bank,
and then to CFOP,
and then later back home.

This whole week
has been a busy week,
more about which on another day.


Today is Saturday April 5th, 2003, 7:47pm.
-
This morning was blessed
with several recoveries
of medical information
I am in need of.

This afternoon was marred
by transportation difficulties
and by the presence at my door
(after, once again, a taxi
got me home from the grocery store)
of one of those black mosquitoes--
this the first of this season--
which had so plagued me last season,
and which I could not prevent 
from making an entrance,
and which bit me at least twice
before I was able to kill it.


Tuesday 2003-04-29
-
All-in-all another too-hectic, flickering day;
yet a day often visited by soft manifestations
of God: the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit
that made this ever too-wrongly prideful,
too self-pitying blotch of dough
rise and take notice--now
does that make any sense?--no!--good.

I will not tell all the stories,
just the final one--sort of.
The little red car I sold Saturday
came gently back, and the woman
driver, among other good things,
returned my license tag.



-
Brian A. J. Salchert 

sw00824ut-35.poem

The Undulant Trees



 Bell


riggidy
raggidy
ruggidy
      rung

trippity
trappity
toggles the
      tongue

clippingly
clappingly
clunkingly
      clung

gling gling
gling gling
gling gling
      PAAAYPURR




-
Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00823ekua-page11

Edges of Knowledge


Thursday 2002-12-12     8:53pm
-
There is a certain person--he knows who he is--
who should he by some magnificent turn
happen to read this/ I openly thank for
popping me in the mouth that night at the ice rink
a lifetime ago/ I, who looking back see
how crazed, how clouded my "brilliant" mind was;
I, who looking in now
see how crazed, how clouded my "resonant" mind yet is.

For at least 3 weeks--though it seems like ages--
I have been at war with a dark-n-devious computer virus,
a war I was not able to win to/ my satisfaction
until I concluded I needed to ditch the WinZip program on my desktop,
a program I hadn't used anyhow.
Once WinZip was gone/ so was the virus's hiding place.
Finally, at 12:34pm, via this computer's Find program,
after disallowing it to go to the Recycle Bin, I deleted it.
And immediately thereafter NAV full system scan
did verify it was gone.
(I know, I know.  I'm not holding my breath either.)

During this time, though I have considered
the spell 11 and 17 have had on me
may be (when viewed rationally)
not at all outside the range of probability,
I cannot but be mystified when
what seems to me most unlikely connections/ occur:
as the 1:11pm and 1:17pm one on December ninth
and the 2:11am and 2:17am one on December tenth.


Monday 2002-12-16     7:59pm
-
11 and 17 are still at it.
Several days ago
I experienced 6:11. 6:17, & 12:17 events.
Yesterday, after lugging into this den
from another long work night, 
the clock here greeted me with 10:17.
This evening, back in the kitchen and back to eating--
after the thankful fulfillment of a long-awaited need--
I glanced up: 
6:11.
-
Enough already?


Wednesday 2003-01-01     2:24pm
-
Between noon and one above the mobile home to the east of mine
I saw my first flock of cedar waxwings this season.

My life recently--
December 23/24--
was etched by a 4th seizure,
one of such characteristics
I found it necessary
to get taken to ER,
to absent myself from work,
to cease driving,
and to begin making changes
in my daily routine.
My doctor had me come see her
and placed me on a second
anticonvulsive medication,
and has me using h- p-
on my injured mouth.
And God--
through two other persons--
is (it appears) 
securing those exact related aids for me
I now most need.

However unworthy I've been
and may continue to be,
God unfailingly
provides me with blessings
I cannot but be amazed at
and ever grateful for.

As one just recently told me:
If someone wants to
do you a favor,
there must be a reason;
so let them.

If, God,
I could be perfect for You,
how glorious
every moment would be!


Thursday 2003-01-02     7:38pm
-
Initiated a subscription relationship with
the WORD among us,
and am now participating in
the daily January meditations
in the free issue they sent
to Janice.


Sunday 2003-01-19     10:38am
-
As of some time on 01/16/03 I am 62.
Had a 5th seizure on the 14th.
Wasn't taking my medications properly.
Am to be getting an MRI and an MRA Tuesday,
Phenytoin levels in my blood checked Wednesday,
and am to be seeing my doctor again Thursday.

That daily meditation I was doing/
somewhere ended.  I ought to get back to it.
The responses of others to my ailments
have caused me to make some prayer changes.

I probably shouldn't mention it
but I am offering up the pain
from the bite sores in my mouth
as penance for sins I have committed.


Wednesday 2003-01-29  7:29pm
-
Today has been warmer and busier.

Gave my Mobile sister's and my
Virginia Beach sister-in-law's
phone numbers to the ever-kind
Mrs. L..

Made a number of calls mysef to those two:
In part because of a letter from the 
Anatomical Board of the State of Florida
regarding Janice's cremains;
and in part because of my leaning now
toward selling my car but then realizing
I had not yet gotten the title for it
from the bank, a need which is so far proving
a bit difficult to satisfy.

Also in seeking other things, came upon
a Salchert-search letter nearly 2 yrs. old.
Am going to attempt to contact the sender.

My V B s-i-l told me her parents had once again
decided to move back to Waupun.  My later
recalling that dad had said Janice and I
could use one of their plots at Calvary
in Fond du Lac/ immediately made the
returning of K & E to Wisconsin at this time
seem to me another evidence
of God's hand in our lives, especially
in that K knows exactly where those
plots are.  I think he would be willing
to take his number one daughter's
cremains there.

Anyway, I did make a return call
to my s-i-l about it.





-
Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00822st99-young.forever

Lawrence King Memorial



sadness          silence          safety          strength

                 Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00821piks-white.yard

aoljaolPictureAdd, aoljaolPictureAdd_1

sw00820piks-yard.leaves.snow

* * * * * * *

aoljaolPictureAdd, aoljaolPictureAdd_1

sw00819st98-sh.bitsonews

  Have begun posting ekua, the letters which indicate an entry from
a journal which once online at ThirdAge (2000-2006).  Secondary
name for that journal was and is Unplanned Autobiography.  I was
living in Gainesville, Florida, during that period.  Also had a similar
journal at Tripod then.  Am posting it as brians brain at bajsalchert.
blogspot.com.

Three new math entries about squares are up/ for those interested in such
things, and don't mind being confused.  While investigations uncover ways
of seeing one had missed, those ways do not always provide the answers
one is seeking.

Finished reading Wordsworth's The Prelude late last night.  Will be
returning to Dante's The Divine Comedy.

About one week ago I made FF8080 the new sidebar color.  It's brighter
than I would like, but it's the best I could do given the red colors available.

Our harsh, icy, cold days are passing for now.  Rain is expected Monday,
but it will be a mild day.  Later this month should see some new photos,
but most were taken through my bedroom window which is now not as
clean as it was due to sniping ice pellets.



-
Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00818math-4.and.squares

entry 19


This entry follows from entries 17 and 18.

Four squares sequences involving the number "4":

1, 4, 16, 64, 256, 1024, 4096, 16384, 65536, n

9, 36, 144, 576, 2304, 9216, 36864, 147456, n

25, 100, 400, 1600, 6400, 25600, 102400, 409600, n

49, 196, 784, 3136, 12544, 50176, 200704, 802816, n

Each of these is a pown-square-base sequence.
Pewn square roots are found by multiplying by 2
once the initial pewn square root is known.
The initial pewn square root in each of these is:
2, 6, 10, and 14.

Questions derived from this are:
How does such awareness aid in finding squares?
Is this awareness worth having?
What about the pown square roots?
Would square roots / squares tables be all that is needed?
Of what importance is all this anyway?

What first impressed me was the discovery that
each of the odd squares could serve as a base
for a sequence of even squares.  Next was knowing
it is possible to extract a particular odd square from
a particular even square.  For me all this is an 
infinite game of a different order.  A table of 
initial odd squares and initial multilplied-by-4 
even squares might be useful even if not used
beyond those two female/male entries.

Just spent some moments seeking a gap,
and I found it at 18 x 18, which is not in
any of the four sequences shown above.
So where is it? I asked myself.  Well, 
18 x 18 = 324, and 324/4 = 81.  So:

81, 324, 1296, 5184, 20736, 82944, 331776, 1327104, n

Though I've already stated this in another way,
here is what is coming to light: If the square root
of the initial pown square is, say, "11", then the
square root of the initial pewn square in that
sequence which begins with "121" will be "22".
22 x 22 = 484.  So:

121, 484, 1936, 7744, 30976, 123904, 495616, 1982464, n

Really am wondering now if this is indeed an infinite game,
or if there is a repetition point.  Haven't passed through 10
cycles yet.  The eleventh cycle begins with 21 X 21 (441).

169, 676, 2704, 10816, 43264, 173056, 692224, 2768896, n

225, 900, 3600, 14400, 57600, 230400, 921600, 3686400, n

289, 1156, 4624, 18496, 73984, 295936, 1183744, 4734976, n

361, 1444, 5776, 23104, 92416, 369664, 1478656, 5914624, n

No go; therefore, I am veering.

This is also territory I have explored, but that was elsewhere in years
behind.  Want to take another look.  After my look, I had to revise
a note on entry 18 and add a note.  Offline I have 15 pages which
were once at ThirdAge relating to these probings.  They are evidence
of the progression of my thinking, thinking which began with a book
I wrote but never officially published: Meanderings of an Amateur
Mathematician.  Number Theory Investigations is the title for those
pages.  I know those pages were copied by at least one person, and
may have been copied by more than one.  This means they may still 
be out and about.  Since I think in transit, and am not a professional
mathematician, I can't vouch for their accuracy.  However, I do hope
anyone who has a copy used it to advantage.  There's a chance that
one day I will place my N T I back online. 



-
Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00817math-page2.subtracting.squares

entry 18

tpo = termposition      pown = positive odd whole number
                                 pewn = positive even whole number

Today am beginning subtraction sequence with 1² - 0² = 1.
Am interested in how it is not like the sequence presented in entry 17.

1² - 0² = 1

2² - 1² = 3      3² - 2² = 5      4² - 3² = 7

5² - 4² = 9 = 3²

[ note: this puts 9 at tpo 3 and tpo 5 instead of at tpo 2 and tpo 4 --
          is this better, worse, or just different? ]
[ note: a pown whose only multiples are itself and 1/ never appears
          above level one in a descension-by-squares sequence/
          because it is not a square of any whole number square root ]
[ note: the "itself" must be a pown greater than "1" ]

6² - 5² = 11      7² - 6² = 13

[ note: 25 (5²) first appears in a d-b-s sequence as the
          minuend in the squares' subtraction whose remainder is 9 ]
[ note: my personal view is that today's sequence is easier to work with ]
[ note: if you are wondering why I am talking about levels greater than
          level one but am not showing any such, it is because for clarity
          I have chosen a collapsed form -- explanation: ordinarily a d-b-s
          declines oppositionally from its major minuend/ so that at its
          highest level 5² would show 2² as its subtrahend/ and then 4²
          and so reveal the remainders "21" and "9" and a d-b-s (DF10)
          consisting of two levels -- not so bad, but at higher levels can 
          quickly get unwieldy ]          (revised 02/21/08)
[ note: DF = descension family      and the 10 = sum of factors in DF
          for 5 x 5:      5 + 5  or  3 + 7  or  1 + 9 ]          (added 02/21/08) 

Okay/// so in this sequence the tpo will always equal (the remainder
plus 1) divided by 2.  Therefore, if the minuend square root is 128, 
the remainder will be (128 times 2) minus 1.  I prefer letting the minuend
square root be the tpo.  Still, there seems to be no easy way to know if
a given pown is only divisible by itself and 1.  Mathematicians, using
a specialized formula, have found such numbers that are figuratively
beyond our solar system; but I am interested in something more basic.

8² - 7² = 15 = 3 x 5

9² - 8² = 17      10² - 9² = 19

11² - 10² = 21 = 3 x 7

12² - 11² = 23

13² - 12² = 25 = 5²

[ note: each pown tpo (square root) equals the square root of the 
          remainder of that term in this sequence which relates to it,
  thus 5² finds its equal at tpo 13 or (5 x 3) - 2 ]

Here are some examples:
-
(3 x 2) - 1      tpo 3 and tpo 5          (5 x 3) - 2      tpo 5 and tpo 13
(7 x 4) - 3      tpo 7 and tpo 25          (9 x 5) - 4      tpo 9 and tpo 41
(11 x 6) - 5      tpo 11 and tpo 61          (13 x 7) - 6      tpo 13 and tpo 85

[ note: the matching tpo locations are separated from each other in just the
          same manner as they are in the sequence shown on entry 17, but are
          one tpo higher here -- what is 2 and 4 there is 3 and 5 here ]

Though I wanted to avoid mentioning facts I have long known, the 
usefulness of them suggests otherwise.  Only odd numbers matter,
and among those only those numbers with final digits that are not
"5".  Any pown whose digits add to 3 or 6 or 9 is divisible by "3".
"861" is such a number in that 8 + 6 = 14 and 14 + 1 = 15 and
1 + 5 = 6.  Now, there is what I have come to call an Elimination
Table (E T) which effectively bypasses all numbers divisible by "3".
Am not going to explain that here.  However--to continue with
more of the obvious, a greater-than-1 pown does not acquire its
power to invalidate the primality of other powns until it is squared.
"2" is the first prime number, and it is the reason 3, 5, and 7 are
prime numbers.  "3" is the reason 9, 15, and 21 are not prime #s,
but 11, 13, 17, 19, and 23 are.

Another way to ferret out the truth about a given pown is by adding
squares to it, beginning with 1².  This works with "143" since 144
is 12 x 12.  Here observation tells one "143" in not divisible by 3, or
by 5, or by 7; but must be divisible by two prime numbers.  Which
two?  1² indicates that whichever two they are they must be 2
apart from each other.  So, (12 - 1) = 11 and (12 + 1) = 13.  Let's
see.  Yes.  So where are the squares?  The squares run along a
line separated by the powns in ascending order.  From 0 to 1 is 1;
from 1 to 4 is 3; from 4 to 9 is 5; from 9 to 16 is 7; but is there a
trick of sorts one can use?  Am not sure; but do know every pown
square is 1 greater than a number divisible by 8, and that every
pewn square is divisible by 4.  However, something different is
teasing my brain.  1/2 = .5; 4/2 = 2; 9/2 = 4.5; 16/2 = 8; 25/2 =
12.5; 36/2 = 18; 49/2 = 24.5  |  2 - .5 = 1.5; 4.5 - 2 = 2.5; 8 -
4.5 = 3.5; 12.5 - 8 = 4.5; 18 - 12.5 = 5.5; 24.5 - 18 = 6.5  |
I know: I left my flyswatter on the moon.      .5, 1.5, 2.5, 3.5,
4.5, 5.5, 6.5 is a run of numbers wherein each greater number
is 1greater than the one before it.  Have also noted another fact
about these numbers, but am not sure about its value.  If .5 is
allowed to represent 1, 1.5 to represent 4, 2.5 to represent 9,
3.5 to represent 16, 4.5 to represent 25, 5.5 to represent 36,
and 6.5 to represent 49, how does one use them?  The other
fact I noted is that if .5 is added to one of these numbers, the
resulting number is the square root of the number represented.
That's fine, but is not what I was hoping for.  Similarly, 2 times
one of these .5 numbers gives us the difference between that
number it represents and next lesser represented number; but
that too is not what I was hoping for.  Hmm: 1 to 5 = 4; 5 to 9 =
4; 9 to 13 = 4 -- this is for 1, 9, 25, and 49.  Likewise: 3 to 7 =
4, and 7 to 11 = 4 -- this is for 4, 16, and 36.  On the moon?  How
about on an asteroid.  For what it's worth: If the result of dividing 4
into a pewn is a square, then that pewn is a square.       



-
Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00816math-about.subtracting.squares

entry 17

tpo = termposition     
[ note: in this sequence, the subtrahend square root = the tpo ]
[ note: minuend square root + subtrahend square root = remainder ]
[ note: each term in this sequence is a positive odd whole number (pown) ]
[ note: had this sequence begun with 1² - 0² = 1, 
          the minuend square root would have equalled the tpo ]

2² - 1² = 3      3² - 2² = 5      4² - 3² = 7

5² - 4² = 9 = 3²

6² - 5² = 11      7² - 6² = 13

8² - 7² = 15 = 3 x 5

9² - 8² = 17      10² - 9² = 19

11² - 10² = 21 = 3 x 7

12² - 11² = 23

13² - 12² = 25 = 5²

14² - 13² = 27 = 3 x 9 = 3 x 3²

15² - 14² = 29      16² - 15² = 31

17² - 16² = 33 = 3 x 11

18² - 17² = 35 = 5 x 7

19² - 18² = 37

20² - 19² = 39 = 3 x 13

21² - 20² = 41      22² - 21² = 43

23² - 22² = 45 = 5 x 9 = 3 x 15

24² - 23² = 47

25² - 24² = 49 = 7²

26² - 25² = 51 = 3 x 17

#

re: 3²      tpo 2  and  tpo 4      1 x 4 = 4      also: 2 + 4 = 6

re: 5²      tpo 4  and  tpo 12      3 x 4 = 12      also; 4 + 12 = 16

re: 7²      tpo 6  and  tpo 24      6 x 4 = 24      also: 6 + 24 = 30

lunch break

[ note: (2 x 4) + 1 = 9      (4 x 6) + 1 = 25      (6 x 8) + 1 = 49 ]

#

27² - 26² = 53

28² - 27² = 55 = 5 x 11

29² - 28² = 57 = 3 x 19

30² - 29² = 59      31² - 30² = 61

32² - 31² = 63 = 7 x 9 = 3 x 21

33² - 32² = 65 = 5 x 13

34² - 33² = 67

35² - 34² = 69 = 3 x 23

36² - 35² = 71      37² - 36² = 73

38² - 37² = 75 = 5 x 15 = 3 x 25

39² - 38² = 77 = 7 x 11

40² - 39² = 79

41² - 40² = 81 = 9 x 9 = 3 x 27

42² - 41² = 83

43² - 42² = 85 = 5 x 17

44² - 43² = 87 = 3 x 29

45² - 44² = 89

46² - 45² = 91 = 7 x 13

47² - 46² = 93 = 3 x 31

48² - 47² = 95 = 5 x 19

49² - 48² = 97

50² - 49² = 99 = 9 x 11 = 3 x 33

51² - 50² = 101      52² - 51² = 103

53² - 52² = 105 = 7 x 15 = 5 x 21 = 3 x 35

54² - 53² = 107      55² - 54² = 109

56² - 55² = 111 = 3 x 37

57² - 56² = 113

58² - 57² = 115 = 5 x 23

59² - 58² = 117 = 3 x 39

60² - 59² = 119 = 7 x 17

61² - 60² = 121 = 11 x 11

#

[ note: if zero is included in the natural number summation sequence, 
      any pown square minus 1 will equal a pewn which (when divided
      by 8) equals a term in the nnss -- example: 81 - 1 = 80; 80/8 =  
      10          as in: 0 + 1 = 1; 1 + 2 = 3; 3 + 3 = 6; 6 + 4 = 10 ]

#

                      4          or  (9 - 1)/2      or  (3 x 1) + 1      =  tpo for 3 x 3           
           8
4                   12          or  (25 - 1)/2      or  (5 x 2) + 2      =  tpo for 5 x 5 
         12
4                   24          or  (49 - 1)/2      or  (7 x 3) + 3      =  tpo for 7 x 7
         16
4                   40          or  (81 - 1)/2      or  (9 x 4) + 4      =  tpo for 9 x 9
         20
4                  60          or  (121 - 1)/2      or  (11 x 5) + 5      =  tpo for 11 x 11
         24
4                  84          or  (169 - 1)/2      or  (13 x 6) + 6      =  tpo for 13 x 13
         28
4                112          or  (225 - 1)/2      or  (15 x 7) + 7      =  tpo for 15 x 15

[ note: 
 4/1 = 4    12/2 = 6    24/3 = 8    40/4 = 10    60/5 = 12    84/6 = 14    112/7 = 16 
 and
 (1 x 2) + 2 = 4    (2 x 2) + 2 = 6    (2 x 3) + 2 = 8    and so on
 and
 (3 - 1)/2 = 1    (5 - 1)/2 = 2    (7 - 1)/2 = 3    (9 - 1)/2 = 4    and so on 
 and
 9 - 1 = 1 x 8    25 - 1 = 3 x 8    49 - 1 = 6 x 8    81 - 1 = 10 x 8    
    121 - 1 = 15 x 8    169 - 1 = 21 x 8    225 - 1 = 28 x 8    and so on ]

#

And where am I going with this?  Wherever it takes me.
-
As you can see, 105 is an important number.  It is what I call a node
number.  Its being divisible by 3, and by 5, and by 7, is what allows
101 and 103 and 107 and 109 to each be a number divisible only by
itself and 1.  15 is a node number.  The next such number is 945, if
one goes by a calculator; but it comes after 29's power has kicked in.
At 105, 11's power has not yet kicked in.  If 5 and 9 are ignored, 231
becomes a node number in a different family of node numbers; but any
number whose final digit is not "5" is of less interest because 3 divides
into an odd number every six numbers, and so would divide into 237;
and 5, of course, divides into 235.  Actually, what I am trying to do is
uncover patterns I had missed on earlier searches.    



-
Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00815ekua-page10

Edges of Knowledge


Tuesday 2002-10-29     8:19am
-
(What follows is the 10-28-02
 Blue Ledger entry on page 106.)

11:11pm just caught me again on
the bedside clock & the wall clock.
-
It has been a curious day.
-
I am finding it harder & harder
to pull myself from my math
endeavors, and I [am] now certain
I have found a connection--which
runs along the natural number
summation sequence--between
where a 3x or greater multiple of
two odd numbers above the
multiplier's square level/ first
appears in a squares' descension &
then appears on level one.  Tonight
I began proving that. . . .
                              Brian Salchert

This morning GMA's Gibson was
interviewing that man most responsible
for aiding in the capture of the two 
sniper killers.  I heard Mr. Gibson say
it was 1:17am when (?) at the rest stop.
Approximately at that moment I looked at
the GMA time:  7:17am.
-
Early this morning (to cite one example)
I got out of bed at 1:07am & headed toward
the den restroom.  I returned at 1:17am.
-
And as if that wasn't enough, after
returning from my 11:15 doctor's appt.
and spending some minutes in this den
reorganizing, I said to me:  "I wonder
what time it is?" and immediately
stepped into the living area/ where both
clocks were blithely reading:  12:17pm.
-
  Bet the bets are betsying.
  Guess what percentage of
  the zero readers of this
  believe my story is true.


Friday 2002-11-01     3:39pm
-
Urology office visit not pleasant.

Today is All Saints' Day.
I hope I feel up to attending Mass
at 5:30pm at St. Augustine's.
I don't feel up to working
tonight's night audit.
The main auditor will be there for me.
-
It is after 11pm
and I did attend Mass--
about which more some other day.

Not sure why,
but I never mentioned here
my Tuseday night trip to AGH
(I drove there)
and Emergency and IMC (that time)
Had stress test Wednesday morning
instead of the scheduled Thursday.
My heart appears to be ticking well,
but I do have GERD.
-
I still have my hospital band on.


Saturday 2002-11-02     5:27pm
-
Yes, God,
I'm a nut;
and stupid, stupid, stupid;
but You
have not
abandoned me--
most certainly,
have not.


Thursday 2002-11-07     4:26pm
-
Yesterday I had a special meeting;
today recalling it I am moved to say:
Blessed be the goodness of God.


Tuesday 2002-11-12     9:21pm
-
Having finished eating a large slice of the stollen
I had just purchased, and feeling it might make me
ill, I began my move from the kitchen back to the
den: all the clocks (there are now three) shone 1:11.


Wednesday 2002-11-13     5:09pm
-
Applied for 62 Social Security.


Thursday 2002-11-14     9:12pm
-
Extremely phycially active day.
Did far more cleaning
than I expected to.

Had big "popcorn" tree
next to home trimmed
by the park maintenance man.

Had place professionally
sprayed and baited.

11 was in there though
at 8:11am and at 5:11pm,
the time I arrived back here
after 2+ hours of shopping, etcetera.
But so was 17--differently.
When I went to get the mail,
I found once again--
this was the third time now
in the last week--
a key for a package box waiting.
Its presence made me 
suddenly aware
the last two were
for package box 17.
I turned the tag over.  17.
-
Also, I have been missing
these numbers by a little
lately, so that especially
12 and 18 have been hit.


Monday 2002-11-18     6:48pm
-
Am trying to lessen my
watchfulness for 7 & 11;
however, this morning I
awoke--needing to go to
the restroom--at 3:11;
and then--for the same
reason--awoke again at
4:17.

And, of course,
having finished the above
and moved to page 6
of my number theory meanderings,
and then having decided to stand
and turn to my right,
the den clock smirked
7:11.

There are simply too many
self-fulfilling
expectations.


Tuesday 2002-11-19    10:51am
-
After writing out 9 checks
and readying them for mailing,
I glanced at the den clock:
10:17am. 



-
Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00814ekua-page9

Edges of Knowledge


*  Good morning (or as it may be).


Tuesday 2002-10-15     4:34pm
-
Heavenly Father,
You know
the extent of my sins
and how horrendous
too many of them were:
You also know
the extent and value
of my right choices.

How amazing, God, You are!
 Twice today, when I phoned the hotel
 to speak with/ a certain woman,
 You made it so/ she was there for me.
Thank You, God, for being;
for being perfect;
for being amazing/
 for one such as I, . . . so stupid.


Wednesday 2002-10-16     9:29am
-
So today there was
7:17 &
          8:11 &
                    8:17
naturally.

And during the mid-day hours,
12:17 popped up; and then a
namber/ I had not/ seen in a while,
the God number:
1:11.
That number stopped me,
pulled me into
meditation,
brought me
solace.

Between 3 and 4pm
I decided to eat a large apple.
Some while later,
as I wasn't feeling quite right,
I decided to put some apple butter
on a slice of bread.
The slice had a couple of wee holes in it;
so I got out the B & B and covered them.
Since there wasn't much apple butter
left in its jar,
I used my father's old Newton trick.
Holding the open jar at a high angle
over the bread with my left hand,
I hit upward against the jar
toward the jar's raised bottom
with the heel of my right hand.
When I had gotten enough
apple butter on the bread,
I wiped off the jar's lip,
and closing the jar,
put it back in the fridge.
After spreading the apple butter
around on the bread,
I glanced up:
the wall clock read
5:11.
I ate what I had made for myself
and went back to the den.
Earlier in the den--
when I wasn't online--
I had made some essential phone calls,
wrote out some checks for bills
and gotten them ready for mailing,
and dealt as I could
with two days of received mail,
etcetera.
During this new period of time
I decided to pray the rosary.
Then I thought I would
go back to the kitchen/living area
to eat some sardines with crackers;
and, I decided to take with me
a small empty bowl
which had been sitting on a nearby shelf.
I said to myself:
it better not be 6:17
when I go through the door.
(I do not wear or carry on me
 a personal watch.
 I just do not like them.)
On the other side of the door
is a sofa bed
which Janice and I had been sleeping on
the last days of her life here,
and which I have continued to sleep on.
Next to the bed I have an alarm clock.
It happens to be running about 30 seconds
ahead of the wall clock.
I didn't look at the wall clock first;
on the alarm clock was:
6:17.

Seeing that, I decided not to
eat the sardines and crackers then
but to come back to write the above section.
Anyway, I got quite involved with it,
and as soon as I finished
(I was not paying attention to
 the computer clock time,
 but I was "thinking about"
 getting something to eat)
I went offline;
and even though I knew it probably was
not a good idea,
I went to eat the
sardines and crackers anyhow.
Lo!, as if to herald my entrance,
the bedside alarm clock
shined 7:17,
and two seconds later
the wall clock shined
7:17.


Thursday 2002-10-17     11:56am

All the wrong choices.
All the wrong choices.

Where is there forgiveness
if I can not forgive myself?

      [Interlude:  Today I tried to ignore
       all that 11 after & 17 after stuff; and,
       after being away from here most of the
       afternoon, I had even semi-forgotten
       about it.  Watched some news (including
       "The ABC Evening News" while I was in
       the kitchen chasing yet another black
       mosquito and eating some more of the
       blueberry banana loaf) until near 7pm.
       I then returned to this den to do this
       & that.  When I finished the drink I had
       and took the plastic back to the kitchen
       to be washed--sometime, both the wall
       clock and the bedside clock shone 7:17.]

I was supposed to be
the son my father lost,
and who knows whether I was;
but I am not the son
he thought he had.
                    the 10-14-02 entry
                    on page 105 of the
                    Blue Ledger----------
                    Brian Salchert

I tell you:  It is extremely difficult
to avoid doing that which later you
might regret, whether that is
doing something you should not do/
or not doing something you should do.
                    10-17-02 entry on
                    page 105 of the
                    Blue Ledger----------
                    Brian Salchert


Wednesday 202-10-23     10:54pm
-
This afternoon was a heavily medical one.
Went to meet with my WC counselor
to fill out an E-- F-- application.
Also, being in the building where
I get my annual flu shot, I did so.
Afterwards drove to Eckerd's bor
2 meds & a supplement.

Yesterday, I believe it was,
I had it verified that Janice's
last medical bills
were covered by Medicaid.
Thank You, Lord.


Sunday 2002-10-27     7:20pm
-
For most of the sunlit time
of the day yesterday 
I was in Shands atAGH, 
mostly in the CPU. 




-
Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00813ekua-page8

Edges of Knowledge


Wednesday 2002-09-11     5:29pm
-
Attended Mass this morning at St. Patrick.

This afternoon in the mailbox
a sympathy card from Fr. Ed;
I--in my usual slow manner--
wrote back immediately.  Yes,
I also pray God may begin
a new day for me
"full of hope and light."


Saturday 2002-09-14     3:58pm
-
Dear God,
                as You are aware,
on July 18th (at 9:38pm, so it was officially noted)
the spirit of the woman who had been my companion
37+ years moved on; and while I believe I have been
forgiven, I still can not get it out of my head--
because I know--that if I had been more rational
and had had better insights/ I would have made
better choices than I did, choices that would have
made her life with me happier than it was, choices
which might very well have lengthened her earthly
sojourn, not because such is in itself good, but
because she would have wanted it so.  Dear God,
here today, as in every day hence I remain in my
earthly sojourn, I again ask Your forgiveness--
even if such asking often seems to me vapid--for
the wrong choices I have made, especially those
which were bad for Janice.


Tuesday 2002-09-17     7:44pm
-
Four major accomplishments today:
1. Got a proper original mobile home title,
      one put in my name only.
2. Got answers I needed from IRS.
3. Began ninth section of my Meanderings
      of an Amateur Mathematician 2:
      Number Theory Investigations.
4. Finally got my Norton Antivirus 2002
      properly registered by using Symantec's
      online customer service registration screens.


Wednesday 2002-09-18     5:30pm
-
What an afternoon regarding a certain debt!
For days I have been atwitch in my brain
trying to figure out how to approach it.
Yesterday I came across a San Diego
company I felt I could comfortably question.
This afternoon I called.  The man who 
answered/ led me to the Clerk of Courts
here in Gainesville.  The woman there
gave me several solacing responses.
I had been wanting to call the debt
collection agency, but still did not know
what I would say; then, a man at the
debt collection agency called me.  I,
several minutes later, decided to call
him back.  The further information he
gave me made indicate to him I might
try to save up enough to close the account.
We shall see now what God wills; or, that
is, I might not see, but someone surely will.


Friday 2002-09-27     11:36am
-
Last night, while sitting on the toilet in the
"den" bathroom behind, I got frightened by
a dark bee(?)/ hornet(?)/ wasp(?) that flew up
over my back.  I tried to get it with an empty
pet glove box about 9 times but the door to
the bathroom was not tightly shut; so, when
the door got nudged, the thing flew out and
over toward the window.  Closing the door, I
glanced behind me, and was stopped by a bit
of shit resting on the toilet seat.  I/
cleaned (sic) it (sic) off.  The hidden presence
of the dark insect unsettled me.  As soon as I
was able to, I went to the sofa bed to retrieve
the orange flyswatter.  Though I off-and-on
searched, I never saw the bug again.  I/
slept with the flyswatter next to me.

This morning, while eating my cereals with
banana at the kitchen counter, I felt/ at an
empty distance.  Medicines I am reluctant
to take, foods I am not sure will settle well,
a deepening despondence over errant choices
I have made, the continuing uncertainty about
who I am and who I ought to strive to be:  I
don't know/ I just don't know/ I just don't
know anymore/ I just don't, hooked my brain.
Then I noticed the dark thing on the kitchen's
large window.  I picked up the swatter.  I
wacked at the thing till it fell on the floor:
where I swatted it dead.  But in order to be
sure--and because I would need to put it in
the waste "can" anyhow--I folded a section of
paper toweling, picked the creature (there in
two parts: one that might have been its head)
up, and scrunched it inside.  Immediately
again:  Perhaps that is how one day I will
die, caught my brain.  Perhaps, as I had done
on occasion, I should have found a way to
capture it and gotten it back outside,  (Out in
our yard one day in Fond du Lac, when I was
a kid--though I didn't have an allergic reaction
to it, a bee stung me.)  I peered once more at
the "Janice" spider, which had fashioned a web
underneath the dinette table, but along about
this past September 11th had suddenly fallen
from the table's pole, and--though I was not
fairly certain until a week or so later--died
on the floor.  And even considering/ that/ that
Aztecan arachnid/ might not have stuck any,
the tiny black flies are back at the garbage.


Thursday 2002-10-10     7:46pm
-
Today I completed my internal change (though
I am becoming less and less sure of what day it
is/ because certain physical manifestations are
making me less and less sure of my sanity) from
[into unto] to [thinking lizard]. [Into unto] is the
sacred site in my i-b-n-a-r kingdom, and now it
can be solely that.  [Thinking lizard] is my site
for in-depth searching, for boundary extending,
for publishing/ whether or not anyone cares
who I am or what I do.


Monday 2002-10-14     11:17pm (wall clock time)
-
Late this morning my life passed through an
eerie incident.  I had worked all night doing
the front desk audit at GNVUC and/ I was
extremely tired.  I had been standing at the
kitchen counter finishing a bowl of cereal
when I decided to move away from there
for a reason I do not recall.  What I do
recall is waking in front of the recliner
Janice spent most of her out-of-bed hours in
the last several months or her life here/ and
falling backwards towards the left (almost
as if I had been pushed), clipping & knocking
the table lamp onto the floor while I was
in route to the floor.  Once there/ I looked 
back & upwards: the wall clock read 11:18/
which immediately meant to me it must have
been 11:17am just before (or as) I awoke.
  A week or so ago I injured the middle
finger of my left hand, an injury I felt
mostly in the upper knuckle.  Around 8am at
the hotel/ the soreness in my finger seemed
to be mostly between the knuckles.  After
my fall/ the finger no longer felt sore.
  For several months before the sad awakening
of 9/11/01 Janice and I/ had taken to noticing
11:11am on the wall clock.  And even after,
we often did.  When I turned this computer on/
the wall clock read: 11:11pm.  (This computer's
clock is two minutes ahead of the wall clock.)
  Since 9/11/01 both 11 and 17 have--for me--
become exceedingly special.  Yet, even after
yesterday's experiences, I am still not really
certain why.  (It is now 12:40am 10/15/02
wall clock time.)




-
Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00812ekua-page7

Edges of Knowledge


Wednesday 2002-08-21     5:09pm
-
Day began excitedly due to my math investigations.
but even as that excitement did not last, new concerns
associated with Janice's final illness has made today
suddenly somber.  And even the ants chose this day
to return.  Now is the time.  Faith.


Thursday 2002-08-22     4:09pm
-
Today I was told that via Hospice/
aid for Janice for the month of July
was approved.  Thank You, God.


Sunday 2002-08-25     5:46pm
-
Those of you
who wish to believe
I am to blame
for Janice's death
I give you
free rein
to do so,
even though
in my dim soul
I know I
did not
want such.
                    8-23-02   Brian Salchert
And I believe
Janice didn't
want such
either.
          from Blue Ledger, page 102
*
8-24-02
          Although an individual
          willing to commit murder
          will usually espouse a "reason"
          for doing so, such a person--
          being already beyond reason--
          doesn't really need a reason
          for doing so.
                    Brian Salchert    from Blue Ledger, page 103
*
8-25-02
          My God, such a frightful lot we are!
                    Brian Salchert    from Blue Ledger, page 103


Wednesday 2002-08-28     7:35am
-
Late morning yesterday I had to go the Ayers lab near AGH
to have some blood drawn so the Dilantin level in my blood
could be determined.  Early afternoon yesterday I then had
to go to my doctor's office so she could inspect what damage
I had sustained/ and also ask me some important questions.
Probably due to stress and overextension, I had had a third
seizure, from which I awoke--my body at an angle on the floor
with my head nearest the wall--about 11:33pm in this m/h.
Because I was between the TV and the socket where I plug
the nite-lite in, I have come to assume that plugging that
light in was what I was doing when the seizure k/o'd me
Monday night.  Four consecutive hotel third shifts is still
a bit more than my body these days is comfortable with.
Still, my body mechanisms being as they are now, I do need
to seriously pay attention when they are urging me to rest.


Friday 2002-08-30     1:26pm
-
Whether I am totally at fault,
partially at fault,
or not at all at fault
for Janice's death,
her spirit has
most definitely
parted from her body;
therefore, however valuable
discussing the causes
of that separation
may be, I, here, am
unequivocally alone;
andit does not matter
how strongly we argued
or what each of us
failed to grasp;
her spirit has
left its body,
and I, here, am
undeniably/ alone.
                           Brian Salchert


Sunday 2002-09-01     4:42pm
-
What a weekend this has been!  Because I did not need
to work these nights at the hotel, I went to Confession
Saturday (first time since 10/08/01) and to Holy Mass
today (first time in I do not know when).  The sky now
is darkening--the afternoon rain, it seems, is once again
on its way.  But I have been writing to a sister and a
sister-in-law about specifics of these days, and I have
been writing on my briansbrain2002 page in Tripod and on
this autobio-p3 in ThirdAge; and I've been seeking that
which/ could benefit me physically, mentally, emotionally,
and (most of all) spiritually.  As weak as I am, as weak
as I have always been, the Father God, my Creator, has
never ceased providing for me in ways far beyond what I
believe I am worthy of.  The priest who was my confessor,
the priest who was the celebrant at the Mass I participated
in today is/ a Jesuit.  Had I not years ago tried to become
a Jesuit, and had I not thereafter had a long connection wth
a certain novice-mate who did and yet is a Jesuit, no special
meaning at all would reside in this weekend's Catholic
occurrences.  Make of it what you will, I will ever wonder
at it.  The sky now has somewhat brightened again. No rain.
No rain.


Tuesday 2002-09-30     9:14pm
-
from 9-2-02
  I told a certain sister-in-law/
  some days after Janice had
  left her darkened body behind/
  a spider had woven its residence
  underneath the dinette set
  we had (not for a long time) used,
  to which she promptly admonished
                & declared:
  "Do not kill it, Brian.
   It might be Janice."
  Checked off-balance by even the thought,
  I did allow the spider space;
  but kept a wary watch over it,
  noting how each day it would
  hide its lanky Aztecan body
  high up on the table's stem:
  a habit I got so familiar with
  that/ when I saw it had not done so
  several days, I began to wonder
  if this new Janice, too, had died,
  motionless--as it seemed to be--out
  in the body of its web.
  Along about the 7th day, I
  took a teasing stroke at it
  with "our" wooden yardstick.
  Still, it did not move.  It
  wasn't until Sunday--September 1st,
  when somehow an ant (!) had gotten/
  snagged near there, that the
  life in my spider flicked back on.

           Brian Salchert


Thursday 2002-09-05     9:04am
-
See today's entry at Brian's Brain 2002.



-
Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00811ekua-page6

Edges of Knowledge


Thursday 2002-07-25
-
Today I remembered some other thoughts I spoke to Janice,
especially about the card from here parents and
youngest sister and her husband and their two daughters,
and about the stuffed cat she liked to hold/
and was there for her, and about the 2 rosaries brought:
her glow-in-the-dark one, and the one from her youngest sister
which the Pope had blessed; and, I believe, this:
                                                                  "Janice,
you, time upon time the smile of Joy,
...
...
...
so be with God,
and be with me."

This afternoon, per my credit counselor this morning, I
wrote a short letter to Janice's "whale card" bank, sending
along/ a copy of her death certificate.

This afternoon I received a letter of gratitude from
The University of Florida College of Medicine "for the gift
of the remains of your wife, Janice Salchert."  This letter
also included words of sympathy and a specially printed
exceptional quotation from the widow of one of their donors.


Friday 2002-07-26
-
"Did you not know" that
any problems
you have in your life,
any problems
she or he has
are all my fault?
-
This world as it is
desires and requires
persons/ with specific
reliable levels
of perfection.
I am not
such a person,
though I do/
for the sake of this world/
and the sake of me in it/
continue to try to be.
The types of perfection
my spirit naturally strives for
are only peripherally noted by
this world as it is;
are only in
the stratospheres/ of caring
prized.
And even there,
amateur that I often am,
are seldom made much of.

     Brian Salchert    from Blue Ledger, page 100


Sunday 2002-07-28
-
Everything that didn't
     need to be,
actually, I think, did
     need to be;
after all, who knows/
     better than
          God knows.

     Brian Salchert    from Blue Ledger, page 101


Tuesday 2002-07-30
-
How is it that I
     who am nothing
or/ perhaps, even
     less than nothing
continue to be
     blessed and blessed
by that One Being
     Who is "Everything"?

     Brian Salchert    from Blue Ledger, page 101


Wednesday 2002-07-31     8:38pm
-
After falling asleep for an "hour" in the middle of it,
I moments ago completed the following letter to --------.

Dear Representative:

   This letter is to inform you that the holder of account
....-....-....-.... is now deceased.  I, Brian A. Salchert,
her former husband, am sending along a copy of the Death
Certificate of Janice M. Salchert.  As to the $56.68 charge
on the current statement, a representative of the company
as ...-...-.... said it would be taken off in two or three
billing cycles.  Her death and the length of time before the
current charge is reversed creates a conundrum.  I await
your company's resolution.

Thank you,
Brian A. Salchert
Brian A. Salchert
address
phone #   email address


Tuesday 2002-08-06     9:54am
-
I just finished writing a letter I did not expect to write,
but because of what I said in it, I have decided to show 
the body of it here.

  The last cat we had was a
black-and-white outdoors cat, though
Janice picked it up when it was
yet a kitten.  She (Suzee) was ill.
We did what we needed to to return
it to health, and we kept it in
our mobile home; but we did not
thereafter do what we ought to have
done, and we spoiled it.  *---------
----------------.  During the
early night of July 18th, 2002,
Janice died.  There's a hole in my
soul that will not heal, and I
cannot pretend the donation herein
will heal it.

               * ----------------
----------.
* Finally I felt it necessary to give
Suzee up to animal control.  Besides
and because of our not doing right
by her, I was convinced she could
no longer be trusted.  I don't 
here wish to reveal the details.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
  In memory of Janice Marie Binnebose Salchert

                                                 Godspeed,
                                                 Brian Salchert


Monday 2002-08-19     4:07pm
-
8-18-02
     No matter how much real good
       we have done:
         quietly, honestly, lovingly,
     there will always be
       (upon reflection)
         the feeling that
     we have not done enough.
       That is a condition of
         imperfection.

     Brian Salchert    from Blue Ledger, page 101
*
8-18-02
     Blessed Virgin,
     Blessed Trinity,
     if when Janice/
     was shocked by that stroke,
     she did not know
     what to think or do--
     I do not know
     what to think or do--
     I can only pray
     she is okay,
     and is there with you.

     Brian Salchert    from Blue Ledger, page 102
= = = 



Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00810ekua-page5

Edges of Knowledge


Thursday 2002-07-04     3:05pm
-
Welcome to the greatest
nation on Earth,
The United States of America,
for what it's worth.

If I were an entrepreneur,
I would create my own nation;
for that/ I believe/ is the only way
I could fulfill (for me) the promise of
"the pursuit of happiness."

Life?  Liberty?  Yah.

And don't tell me I don't know how good I've got it.
I do know;
and I also know I have had it good, too good,
all my life.
           Not relevant to my
"for what it's worth."


Monday 2002-07-08     8:03pm
-
I have decided not to reveal the details, but
this morning after 8/ I had to call 911
for her.  She is now in SICU.


Tuesday 2002-07-09     6:39pm
-
Janice,

you, time upon time the smile of joy,
I (as well as I am able) do love you;
and can only guess at why you so often
seem unable or unwilling to love your self/
even as I/ too often seem
unable or unwilling to love my self.

If I could have given you
all you wanted, nay, all you needed,
the sorrows abiding in our hearts
would not be, would not be.

But be as you wish;
and God be with you,
and be with me.


Thursday 2002-07-11     7:42am
-
Why am I ever/ on the edge of knowing;
so seldom/ really knowing
until it's/ too late?

                                     6:51pm
-
Looking for me?
I say to you, traveler,
do not look/ in the real world.


Sunday 2002-07-14     6:39pm
-
 My Janice

When Janice was young,
often she befriended those/
others were reluctant to,
both for them and for herself.
And I, for one, am pleased she did.

And even though our lives together
didn't progress as I hoped they would,
and I was a sleepy-eyed disappointment,
she was, and is, and will ever be
my woman of night, my woman of light, my promise.

- - -
          Dear God,
          You
          Who are always with us,
          even when we choose wrongly,

          please
          make our hearts such
          that we will be always with You.


Thursday 2002-07-18     10:00pm
-
Janice,
you, time upon time the smile of Joy,
so be with God,
and be with me.

[ insert:
  -
  7/12/02       Janice,

  it seems apparent I was not able
    to love you/ as well as/ I ought to have,
  but I did love you as well as I could
  and I do now/ and will continue to
  love you as well as I am able.
  Certainly Our Savior, Jesus Christ, loves us.
  Certainly, through Him, all are forgiven.
  So be in God. ]


Friday 2002-07-19     7:17pm
-
   Janice's spirit went home to heaven
at 9:38pm the Shands at AGH people say--
about the time I was placing the 7/12/02
words above on this page.  Definitely,
I remember my cursor/ being in the lower left
corner 1t 9:57pm, and that I (from an urge
indefinable) slowly moved that cursor
toward the top center of the screen
with the angle of its rise sharpening as it went,
and that I felt it represented so
Janice's spirit ascending.  And today
I thought:
                  So,
                  go Janice,
                  smile before God.

                  I am sure
                  He/
                  will be pleased.


Wednesday 2002-07-24     6:55pm
-
   The day Janice's spirit moved on,
I visited her twice: once in the morning
and once in the early evening.
In the morning I did speak to her
but not a lot, and I do not recall
what I said.  I do know I sat
in a chair near her and
silently prayed Mary's rosary.
In the evening/ God gave my the courage/
to say more to her.  I am certain I said
what I had written on the 12th:
                                        Janice,
it seems apparent I was not able
to love you/ as well as/ I ought to have
but I did love you as well as I could
and I do now/ and will continue to
love you as well as I am able.
Certainly Our Savior, Jesus Christ, loves us.
Certainly, through Him, all are forgiven.
So be in God.
                         And I did immediately
thereafter say a "Hail Mary" to her.
And although I was not with her
the moment of her passing,
at the time I decided to leave,
I placed my left hand/
softly/ on her forehead,
and said to her:
"Good night, Janice."
= = =



Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00809ekua-page4

Edges of Knowledge


Sunday 2002-05-05     6:45pm
-
While I cannot know the nature of your psyche,
I do know--and am constantly learning more--
about the nature of my psyche.
                                 Sadly, one
such piece of knowledge shows how easily
stress unbalances me.
                      Spates of anger
(you may not realize) coming from/ someone
as I, are not, actually, directed toward
the situations, objects, persons they
appear to be; but toward the ventor
of those spates of anger.  They are all,
primordially, transferred epithets.
They are all hurtful evidences of
self-loathing.  They are all representative of
an ingrained psychological malignancy.
                                            Do I
wish I were not so plagued.  Absolutely.


Monday 2002-05-13     7:26pm
-
Recently I became a member of
The Confraternity of the Rosary.
                                   About
one week ago I received from them
some literature, among which was
a novena announcement, with 18 possible
intentions attached, with the 18th being
Special Intentions.
                    I am still attempting
to form several relevant to me.  I suspect
I will be fiddling with the wording of these
for some while yet.
                    Roughly, the first is:
That my psyche be healed as regards my
getting "all bent out of shape" when
I am forced by certain circumstances
to expend time & energy hunting and fixing
that which I feel I should not have had
to deal with.  In other words:
                              Let me
always remain calm, not matter what
unexpected task comes my way.
                              The second is:
That The Blessed Virgin go to her Son, my
Lord and Savior, to ask that any evils--
if any there are--others have wished
befall me/ be negated.
                         The third is:  That I
learn to carry those crosses I am given/
silently and joyfully.


Wednesday 2002-05-15     7:24m
-
   What a day today was! difficulty after
difficulty! and from my end, failure after
failure.  I just don't know, God; I just
don't know.


Thursday 2002-05-16    12:20pm
-
   Have I been irresponsible in my life?  Yes, too often.
Have I been a fool?  Have I been an idiot?  Yes.  Am I
smug about it?  No.


Thursday 2002-05-23     
-
Today I received a conclusions letter from
Dr. M. D. of the Institute on Aging at the
University of Florida regarding the project I
participated in on Saturday, December 9th,
2000.  From whatthis letter revealed, I could
easily see how grandiose my goals were--and
yet are--compared to most other eldering
persons.  I truly am a dreamer.
          Recently I have been taking online IQ
tests with a view toward improving myself
mentally.  One such test I took, on which I
scored 122, placed me in that site's Inspired
Inventor group.  Another such, which I took
last night, surprisingly scoring 132, placed me
in that site's Gifted Group and so among the
top 5%, high enough to be invited to join that
site's Society.  Also, they had a section of 
questions wherein I was able to share my 1370
score on the one GRE exam I have taken, a
score I will ever be pleased with no matter 
how many years I am allowed to live beyond
JUN 09 1984.  . . . .  For whatever it means,
I have scored from 100 to 153 on online IQ
tests I have taken lately.
                              Sadly, however intensely
one dreams, however high one's IQ, if one
does not have wisdom. . . .


Sunday 2002-05-26     6:55pm
-
Back in the late mid 1960's, when I was enrolled in
The University of Iowa's Writers' Workshop, I
became convinced it was in what happens to the #'s
we use as they move into the 3rd dimension that the
proof of Fermat's Last Theorem exists; and-- the
residing proof notwithstanding--I am still so convinced.
That is why I found myself one day in Iowa U's Math
Library/ constructing what I hoped would be the basis
for a geometric proof; and that is why some
thirty years later I found myself resdiscovering--as I
latterly learned--Bernoulli's power sets.
   Given this, I tend to believe Fermat actually did/
provide a proof in a margin: that an extremely simple
proof exists, one which keys on: the-nature-of-the-
spaces between each other/ #'s are forced to// once
they rise past the squares level.


Tuesday 2002-06-11     5:20pm
-
I am just intelligent enough to want to do
great things;
yet, I am just lacking enough in intelligence
to consistently feel I will never be able to
do great things.

Such frustration, I realize, may well ensure
I will never do great things.  Still, I do
not cease to push forward, in this and that,
to seek here to perfect a talent, and
to seek there to find answers where
it seems on the surface no answers
can be found;
I do not cease attempting to learn, create,
and to share,
always hoping my venturing so
will not only be of value in itself,
but also of value to attending others.


Wednesday 2002-06-12     6:49pm
-
As somber as it was, due to our physical, psychical, 
and spiritual ailments, today is our 37th anniversary.


Thursday 2002-06-13     8:53am
-
If to be truly an American, one needs to be an entrepreneur,
I am not now nor am ever likely to be truly an American.


Sunday 2002-06-30     6:11pm
-
What is my opinion of Rap Music?

All too often it is Negatively Disruptive,
and also Disrespectful,
either in itself,
and/or because of the behaviors it encourages--
due to its structure and content--
in those who are drawn to it.

If I or you (for whatever reason(s))
disrespect any other,
I or you therein allow
any other to likewise disrespect you or me.  




-
Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00808ekua-page3

Edges of Knowledge


Tuesday 2002-01-01     11:11am
-
Some want to tell me what they see in my future;

but what about what I see in my future?
Is it effort, effort, effort, effort;
                                        and no results?
Or have I forgotten what effort is?
Or have I become incapable of
whatever effort will be needed?


Sunday 2002-01-06     6:42pm
-
I am as I am;
yet
I need to be cognizant of 
the presence of God
and of God's graces;
and,
with the never-ending help
of His presence
& His graces,
I must strive to be
better than I am,
to accomplish things
of deep holy value,
regardless of
any recognition I get
or don't get.
- -
                      7pm
-
                      Self-pity
                      is deadly.


Monday 2002-01-21     11:53am
-
Remember,
  In spite of the fact I have a
  strongly pessimistic (melancholic)
  personality; in spite of the fact
  my words & actions are often
  deeply negative; in spite of the
  fact my wry humor serves as a
  cover for the anxiety and sadness
  gusting in me, every moment
  is God's moment; and so I pray.


Friday 200-02-01     12:27pm
-
With special thanks to Dr. Phil McGraw
and his current book, Self Matters

These:
          Defining Moments
          Critical Choices
          Pivotal People

I will be taking the time to list and meditate on mine.
*
In the first entry on this page I listed 10 goals,
most of which cannot be reached by a certain time,
but one of which, the 8th one, has been reached.
*
Although I have normally scored between 115 & 120 on IQ tests,
on 09JUN84 I took a GRE exam at UF, scoring V740 & Q630.
On 03AUG01, I learned that according to one online estimator
those scores placed my IQ between 140.55 & 143.35 and thus
in the percentile of 99.657.  Toot, toot!  I'm sorry, too many 
beans, I guess; but--yes--I would--and then some.
*
So often, by certain persons I have lived with over the years,
have I gotten reprimanded for not being perfectly practical in
this and that situation, that several moments ago I finally said:
Maybe I should have been put in an institution shortly after I
was born (so as not to be an annoyance and disappointment).


Monday 2002-02-04     1:14pm
-
(the following was written on 02/02/02)

I am an inveterate
perfectionist:
(mostly in things
others could give a diddle about);
I am an inveterate
complainer:
(mostly about things
others could give a diddle about);
and/ I suspect I know why.
Born.  The traits I was
born with (mental/emotional/physical)
coupled with the influence of
societal mores impinging on me
of non-human things /
become my balm & my poison.
Too, too sensitive,
I am probably a borderline
manic-depressive.
Without Jesus
there is no redemption.


Monday 200-02-25     2:53pm
-
Yesterday,
it occurred to me,
I (along with certain others) have an
on-edge
personality.


Wednesday 2002-03-04     2:27pm
-
O Lord,
I am such a wreck,
such a wreck!


Wednesday 2002-05-01     11:36am
-
The following is a poem I found in a folder yesterday,
a poem written in the mid 1980's when I was a student
under Donald Justice at The University of Florida.

 Angle of Vision

Ready to travel
the miles north,

we two,
about to part

another time,
twice kiss;

i do not walk her
to the door;

but from the bedroom
watch until

she's back in view
three stories below

and sits upon
her red suitcase

so placed
on the main walk

the patio's post
eclipses them,

and with her await
the maroon taxi

& move the suitcase
back a little

& pace &
check the time

and open its door
& lift onto

its back seat
the troubling case

& get in
& look up

& smile & wave
& wave & smile

because we want to
because we can.


Sunday 02-05-05     5:56pm
-
Lord, Jesus,
through each this moment along the Way,

thank You
for Your gifts today.
= = = 



Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00807ekua-page2

Edges of Knowledge


Thursday 2001-02-15     6:12pm
-
God save me.


Tuesday 2001-04-03     5:12pm
-
If there is a way,
a right way
for me to go,
let me find it.


Tuesday 2001-04-10
-
Find me, oh Lord,
Lost as I am.

Find me, oh Lord;
rescue this lamb.

In the fields,
In the yards,
In the streams,

Find me, oh Lord.
Find me, oh Lord.
Make wise my dreams.


Friday 2001-06-08
-
Reality.
Reality, Brian.
Do you know what it is?


Sunday 2001-07-01     4:55pm
-
Thank You, God, for every moment of my life;
but I simply cannot make it as a worthwhile human
in this current fast-paced world.
Every time I am under pressure in a business environment
I find I am almost always unable to make right decisions.
Actually, my ability to make right decisions
is in general markedly weak.
---
Wisdom: it is as if that gift for me
              is only mine in a dream.
---
Therefore, God, since it appears that
if I have a passion for anything,
it is a passion for writing;
so writing is what I am going to
concentrate on.
I realize that even in so doing
I may be wasting my time,
may be making another poor decision;
but, You tell me, what else can I do?


Wednesday 2001-07-04     12:32pm
-
All the horrid errors I have made.
Just how many are there?
And are they all forgivable?


Thursday 2001-07-05     11:53am
-
God, what a serendipitous morning You provided me
at Mainstreet Chevrolet while my '98 Metro LSI
was getting its 7500-mile checkup/ what with the
presence of the blue convertible Corvair there
on the showroom floor to immediately remind me
of that day long ago when I was one of several
in Jack F's Corvair ripping along at 110mph
on the highway east of Lake Winnebago with the
lake flies plastering the windshield and the lot
of us totally amazed we made it to our destination;
and then with the terminal presence of the salesman
to whom I (as I had hoped to do) related that
incident in my life, and then spoke to about
facts pertinent to me current situation, and then
from whom I received some valuable advice
regarding my attempt to secure disability status;
and then with the surprise presence of two
former neighbors--Nick and Frances (though I
could not recall her name)--sitting on a bench
when I went back outside to wait for my auto,
and with whom I then also sat and there conversed!


Thursday 2001-07-12     5:05pm
-
I want to create in my life a place where,
using the intelligence and talents I have been given,
I can deepen my intelligence and uncover new talents,
and thereby secure sustenance and find fulfillment.
Does this mean I am going to set aside those talents
which I believe are my central talents?  No.
*
The healings I want to occur are the healings
I have been praying to the Holy Spirit for:
the healings of my spirit, my mind, my heart.
*
The situations I want to change are:
my current desperate financial state,
my constant feeling of -10 worth,
and my continuing inability to make wise choices.

*
For the source of the self-examing above
see Patricia Gift's interview of Gary Quinn at
www.OneSpirit.com
and see also Gary Quinn's book,
May the Angels Be with You.


Friday 2001-07-27     11:54am
-
I am as I am.  Yet who I am I do not know.


Friday 2001-08-03     9:27am
-
It may be, Lord,
that not any of my "creations"
will be accorded the status:
worthy of remembering; but
You know and I know that
such is far less important than
the manner in which I live
each moment I am given, the 
worthiness of my love during
those moments.


Tuesday 2001-09-11     6:25pm
-
In my efforts to be more responsible,
I, over a number of years,
proved myself to be more irresponsible
because I failed to sufficiently understand
who I am,
and therefore made many foolish choices
instead of many wise choices;
and so destroyed
what little solvency I did have,
and so further weakened
my mental instability,
and so placed sharper stresses
upon my spirit.
.......

The twin towers of the World Trade Center
are no more,
and a portion of the Pentagon
is no more;
but those losses are nothing
compared to even one of/
the human lives/
no longer among us.


Thursday 2001-10-04     2:16pm
-
It is 11:11, and the full moon

Blessed Trinity,
make me to care about Janice
without getting upset at her;
make me to care about life
without getting upset.
Make me to find joy
in caring.
                                10-31-01 BAS

(&, while on WUFT-FM's Night Bridge, as if magically,
                                             George Winston with
                                                    "Give Me Your Pains")

                                                                 Brian Salchert


Friday 2001-10-12     4:04pm
-
The Alexander Technique (the importance of the mind and the body
                                           working in consort with each other)
www.alexandertechnique.com/articles/spirituality
- - -
1.  Ego formation in Western Civilization
     (the separation of the mind from the body and 
      the ascendancy of the mind over the body)
2.  One's mental abilities
     and physical ailments
3.  One's personality traits
     and the need to cope with life's stresses
4.  Fear of insufficiency
     no matter how concertedly one strives
5.  Joy
     and the fullness of one's spirit


Monday 2001-10-29     1:09pm
-
10/28/01
   As to perfection, Jesus promotes it strongly;
but I, no matter how strongly I desire to be
perfect, do not expect to ever be perfect
because I lack the necessary attributes.  Oh, I
have/ at times come close/ in ultimately
insignificant ways such as (if I remember 
correctly) my twice bowling a 279.  Notably,'
though, unhappily, on the negative side, is
my annoying penchant for voicing my displeasure
when some thing aggravates me--and some thing does
exceedingly often aggravate me.  Such self-pity!
Such false pride!  As if, as one close to me says,
I think I am perfect and therefore must be
exempt from making any errors, I, who have made
far more grievous errors (choices) than most.
          Teach me, Jesus, to cultivate
          silence, sincerity, simplicity.


Wednesday 2001-11-07     10:30am
-
The other day it occurred to me
that often when I become angry
I immediately blame
some one or some thing 
when indeed it is I
who am at fault.
- - -
(Deep psychological wounds
 are extremely difficult to heal.)


Tuesday 2001-11-13     around 10am
-
O Blessed Virgin,
what ever am I going to do?
I am so tightly wound.
Every mishap /
every interruption
ticks me tighter.
Each day/ I am replacing
one or more springs.

Remember/ how often I've said:
If I had a brain, it would kill me?

Please sue for peace in me.


Friday 2001-12-28     3:09pm
-
Guardian,
      I am such a dolt,
      such a wretched underachiever,
                                    angel.

Be happy
in the Lord?
Rejoice
in the Lord?
Maybe for a second,
                    a minute;
or if I am lucky,
                    an hour or so.

I so need to meet the challenges,
God in His wisdom
allows me to face.

Certainly,
you and God
(sometimes directly and sometimes not)
have numerous times
saved me:
allowed this body
to continue on,
this mind,
this heart,
this spirit.

Angel,
      thank you for what
      you have done for me
      and for what you are doing
      as I stumble through
      my darknesses,
                    guardian.


Monday 2001-12-31     2pm
-
 New Year's Eve

What matters is
how each day
we meet the challenges
which come our way.

Therefore I
(so quicly astray)
moment on moment,
for right choosing, pray.


                    Brian Salchert
= = =



Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00806ekua-page1

Edges of Knowledge


Friday 2008-12-08
-
Tomorrow is Saturday, December ninth, and one place I
have committed to be wants me to think of 10 goals I yet
entertain.  Remember, I am 59.  Okay, I know this won't 
be easy.  Let's see:
 1. to grow spiritually
 2. to grow mentally
 3. to heal my traumatized self-image
 4. to find inspiriting gainful employment
 5. to render to Caesar what is Caesar's
 6. to use and deepen my writing talents
 7. to write at least one/ loved song lyric
 8. to finish placing online 1976: my
     bicentennial year challenge sequence
     of 366 sonnets
 9. to keep my online Brian's Brain/ Daily Log
     active until I die
10. to inhabit the stars


Monday 2000-12-18     closing in on 7:30pm
-
Last night I wrote what I am titling for now "Silent Song": it had
been coming to me grudgingly ever since my December 8th goals
list.  I cannot say it satisfies goal 7, but I can say it does deeply
satisfy me.
-
 Silent Song

There once was a boy
who found the stars/
in the heavens wide
a wonder-filled place
to dream and hide.

    Do you/
    know you?
    Please listen.
    If not,
    why not?
    Please listen.
    Somewhere
    in your heart
    who you are
    has its start.
    Go there.
    Prepare.
    Please listen.

There once was a boy
who found the lines/
he was moved to draw
a pleasure-bright realm
to touch in awe.

    Do you/
    know you?
    Please listen.
    If not,
    why not?
    Please listen.
    Somewhere
    in your heart
    who you are
    has its start.
    Go there.
    Prepare.
    Please listen.

There once was a boy
who found the words/
he began to see
a mystical land
to learn and be.

    Do you/
    know you?
    Please listen.
    If not,
    why not?
    Please listen.
    Somewhere
    in your heart
    who you are
    has its start.
    Go there.
    Prepare.
    Please listen.

    Somewhere
    in your heart
    who you are
    has its start.
    Go there.
    Prepare.
    Please listen.


          2000-12-17 by Brian Salchert


Saturday 2000-12-23     nearing 8:50pm
-
Today's saint is St. John of Kanty.  Look him up.  You have heard
it said: "How mysterious are the ways of God!"  I say: How uncanny!
Today at Chick-fil-A my humble, physical work was again/ edged
with frustrations and difficulties I did not always quietly deal with.
St. John of Kanty.  Search him out.
-
Christmas at Greccio.


Sunday 2000-12-24     late
-
Before one can be,
one must first desire to be,
and then must sacrifice,
must "perpetually" learn;
see deeply--ahead and within.
Actuate.  Create.  Rejuvenate.
~ ~ ~
Help!  Help!  I am an
underachiever of the worst kind.

                           Brian Salchert

---
The above was written on the inside of the back cover
of The Psychologist's Book of Self-Tests,
Louis Janda, Ph.D., author   
The Berkeley Publishing Group, publisher   1966
---
(The next entry contains my "Sonnet to Shakespeare".
  If you wish to read it, see sw00606usabys in August 2007 archive.)


Monday 200-12-25     about 9:40am
-
Welcome,
Welcome,
Saviour Jesus, Lord.

Welcome,
Welcome,
Holy One, adored.
-
Two truths about love:
1. If your love for another is such that you feel
    you must possess that person, your love is evil.
2. You cannot say you love someone if you are
    not willing to let that person go.
                                                   5-6-97 4:22am
-
Jesus, Lord, I seek no miracle other than the strength,
persistence, and wisdom needed to render to Caesar
what is Caesar's and to do ever and everywhere the
will of your Father, my Creator, through the graces of
The Holy Spirit.    Thank You, Your difficult servant,
                                                   Brian Arthur Salchert


Wednesday 2000-12-27
-
This morning I resume taking my Actonel.


Monday 2001-01-01     10pm
-
Since so often when suddenly frustrated I/ revert to using
unholy expletives, why, God, do You even want to tinker
with me?  I see no way I can be fixed.  I am just a perennial
failure, and that is that.  Oh, yes, I will keep trying/ to do
what is right, what pleases You; but my inability/ to be
perfect, I am afraid, will always raise the reptile in me.  
It has gotten so I do not know whether/ to laugh or cry/ 
about it, God.  Oh, for a gentle breeze, a quiet walk.


Tuesday 2001-01-02     7:45pm
-
 And So There Is Love

Hope 
sailed out
like a life-saving 
rope,
like the deep-seeing eye
of a telescope,
like a vigorous message
from an envelope,
hope
sailed out.

And then there was love,
love, love, love.
And then there was love.

Faith
reached in
like a heavenly
wraith,
like a heart-changing touch
of a power place,
like the rising-up music
by a glory braced,
faith
reached in.

And then there was love,
love, love, love.
And then there was love.

And love
rose up
like a sudden white
Dove,
like the Resurrection
of the Savior above,
like the hand of the Father
for a tender shove,
love
rose up.

And so there is love,
love, love, love.
And so there is love.


                        2001-01-02 by Brian Salchert


Friday 2001-01-19     7:45am
-
Each moment can be a prayer.
Each moment could be a prayer,
if each moment each of us
were able to be so aware.


Saturday 2001-01-20     10:40pm
-
 Oliva

Tell me
what it is
that is in your heart.

Tell me
why it was
we had to part.

I know
you may not
want to;

I know
I should not
care;

but let your heart
please tell me
what is there.


Friday 2001-01-26     9:10pm
-
Somewhere among the cinder blocks of destiny
a lone eagle courses through a rivered canyon.
= = =  




Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00805ekuac-links.entry20

Edges of Knowledge (an Unplanned Autobiography)

was a sporadic interior journal in ThirdAge space.  It began on
Friday 2000-12-08 and ended on Tuesday 2006-02-07.  Due
to a void which needs to be filled, it will be presented here as
it essentially is.  Am not able to gauge its length in this format.
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[ last modified: 2008-10-17 ]
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Brian A. J. Salchert 

sw00804st97-events

   On this President Lincoln's Day, which is also the seventh day of Lent,
the radio station I was listening to/ played John Lennon's "Imagine"; and
here in Missouri's Springfield ice and cold and the flu rule.  Over 5000 are
presently without power, and just as in January of 2007/ tree limbs have
snapped.  Temps today will remain below freezing, and though the storm
has traveled east, whatever mists occur about will freeze.  Took several
photos through my window.  Not sure about venturing outside with my
camera.  Yesterday around 4:40 PM this system's broadband connection
to AOL disappeared.  So I unplugged it again, spent the rest of the day
reading and fantasizing, and did not try to return to this realm until after
9 AM.  It is now 10:19 AM.
-
What I read first were the "Be Grateful" through "I Feel Your Pain"
selections in Make Room for LIFE!, a Daily Meditations, Actions,
& Prayers booklet for Lent 2008 published by Twenty Third 23rd
Publications / Copyright ©2007 Joseph Sica.  A priest friend sent
this booklet to me.  I then went back to reading The Prelude and 
rereading "Preface to Lyrical Ballads"--had read it years ago--but 
did not read the whole of it as that was when I fell into fantasizing.
Did, however, gain some new insights.  One was: "The Poet writes
under one restriction only, namely, that of the necessity of giving
immediate pleasure to a human Being possessed of that information
which may be expected from him, not as a lwyer, a physician, a
mariner, an astronomer or a natural philosopher, but as a Man."
p. 420  The Selected Poetry and Prose of Wordsworth
a Signet Classic 451-CJ854   New American Library
Copyright © 1970 by Geoffrey H. Hartman, editor
The Signet Classic Poetry Series General Editor: John Hollander
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 74-126353

2 PM
Another event involved the respected Nebraska poet and short story writer,
William Kloefkorn.  In 1972, after Doug Flaherty had passed Road Apple
Review and Road Runner Press to Terry Smith and me, one special issue
we pleasurably published was Alvin Turner as Farmer, William's first book
of poems, a work which included 8 pen and ink sketches by Bill Evans, a
friend and colleague.  Logan House Press, which I e-mailed just before I
began this event note, has since republished that book and has published
Kloefkorn's first book of short stories.  Atop my dictionary rests a copy
of Bill's 1972 book.  In it is a signed note to me from Bill Kloefkorn.  I
probably had the copy with me on my aberrant short-lived separation to
San Francisco.  I know I stopped in Lincoln to see Bill and Greg Kuzma
and Joel Belland.  I know I slept at a cheap motel there.

At 2:41 PM it is snowing.  Earlier this afternoon when I looked out I saw
snow on the icy yard; so I took several more through-my-window photos.
Just took another one, but the snow is light and mostly nearly horizontally
zipping by.  Only a few flakes here and there hang and dance.

4:50 PM  -  A side result of a personal    esophageal sphincter    search
was an article about foods.  If this interests you, I suggest this search:
10 best foods you aren't eating          Men's Health provides the article.      



-
Brian A. J. Salchert  

sw00803st96-new.uri.url

journals.aol.com/thinkinglizard/sh/

10:12 AM  -  The above is the new name for this blog, wherein "sh"
means Sprintedon Hollow.  Intermittently thunderous, continuously
rainy cold day here in SW Missouri.  Rain on objects freezes.  Not a
good time to be online, but I still have to update internal links in most 
of August and February of 2007.  Am correcting other errors too.  Was
online until 12:20 AM working on updates.  Changed URI/URL near noon
yesterday.  Last month completed was June 2007.  Thunder continues.
Bad weather expected to last through midnight.  It is 10:53 AM.
-
11:55 AM  -  February's internal links are updated.   The skies have 
been quiet.  Time for a break though.
-
1:26 PM  -  Took about 23 minutes to get remaining August entries
updated.  Skies still overcast but brighter.  Thankful I was able to
complete project I unexpectedly imposed on myself yesterday.  I am
definitely happier with the new name for this blog.   




-
Brian A. J. Salchert 

sw00802st95-uri.url.change

journals.aol.com/thinkinglizard/sh/   replaced   journals.aol.com/thinkinglizard/bajs/

earlier today  (Sunday  February 10, 2008)  for several reasons:  One is that
"sh" is Sprintedon Hollow; but, unlike "bajs", has more possibilities should  I
decide to change this blog's name, say to something like: Stupid Hermit.  
-
The immediate upshot of this is that any site that had linked to an sh entry will
find the link has gone dead.  I've already notified and gotten a response from
one such site.  Also, I have to change all links between entries in this journal.
Much of that is already done in those places where it matters most, but the
finish line is still distant.  There is at least one other site master I am going to 
 notify.  Google's robots may already know. 



Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00801sl4-antiphon.lyrics

 Antiphon


Through the years
through-ough the hearts
through-ough the skeins
of time

Through the days
through-ough the hours
through-ough the chinks
of time

      Ho-o-ly
      ho-o-ly
      are the dreams we are

      Ho-o-ly
      ho-o-ly
      are the dreams we are

Through the realms
through-ough the states
through-ough the towns
of time

Through the curves
through-ough the squares
through-ough the points
of time

      Ho-o-ly
      ho-o-ly
      are the dreams we are

      Ho-o-ly
      ho-o-ly
      are the dreams we are

Through the lights
through-ough the shades
through-ough the blips
of time

Through the eyes
through-ough the ears
through-ough the mouths
of time

      Ho-o-ly
      ho-o-ly
      are the dreams we are

      Ho-o-ly
      ho-o-ly
      are the dreams we are

      Ho-o-ly
      ho-o-ly
      are the dreams we are

      Ho-o-ly
      ho-o-ly




-
Brian A. J. Salchert    2008-02-09

sw00800piks-bird.design

What you see here is part of a work which is
unsigned and undated, but my guess is that 
it is from circa 1954.  The bird and leaves
emerged from the abstract haphazard curves.



Brian A. J. Salchert                                                                                 

sw00799sem-7.FeastofSaintAgnes

Seminary



 On the Feast of Saint Agnes


The dawn arose enrobed in ruby-red;
Above the winter scene her mantle spread.
Relentless as undaunted forest flames
This glowing garb of dawn exclaims
Her youthful joy more racily
Today than when it first burned readily
As if to char that purity of day
Which stood with uncontested sway
O'er frozen mounds of clayey earth
That yet lay hard beneath that hearth
Of awing love, the mystic Orient
Wherein a new Aurora wisely spent
Herself, while frozen earth and barren trees
And heavy clouds looked on.  From there,
inanimates of dead despair,
No praising but their stoic presence there.
Alone, this humble dawn did dare arise
To day which never end espies,
But for the sun which was her life
And came to strengthen her in strife
Of nature born as would consume itself,
Like giant fires that soon become an elf
Of light.  So, strong, she stood amid the blaze
Ascending round; her heart did raise,
Another dawn, partaking full
Of that same heat which would to heaven pull
Both dawn and heart.  Appearing then apart,
Although warm glowed the Father's art
To prove it otherwise, this dawn 
Proceeding heavenward was drawn
By Yahweh's stalwart sun to strive to melt
The ice within the ground but found it felt
No heat, whatever its intensity,
But rather that proximity
Of such resplendent beauty froze
The more the frozen earth, for Satan chose
To harden it with his Dantean berg.
The barren trees, their web-like hands
Outstretched to break the rolling lands'
Horizons, bent aback the flow
Of rufous hues on dawning's robe to show
Indignant hate and pride that did abide
Within these knotty nets wherein would hide
Decay.  The heavy clouds hung high
As yet, reflecting, 'cross the sky
A glory that could never die, though death
They willed this dawn to meet.  Her final breath
She'd soon complete when down would run
Those leopard clouds, eclipse her Sun
Towards whom she fled, and watch dawn die
Till time no more its rhythm could sustain
And all was naught but that which felt of pain.
Enduring all, Saint Agnes, all did gain.


                                    Jan. 20, 1962     Brian Salchert, N.S.J.




-
Brian A. J. Salchert 

sw00798sl3-alive.with.love.lyrics

 Alive With Love


go humbly o'er the water
               'cross the land and
               through the sky

go humbly o'er the water
               'cross the land and
               through the sky

      Wherever you go sailing
                          or roving
                          or you fly

go humbly o'er the water
               'cross the land and
               through the sky




-
Brian A. J. Salchert    2008-02-08

sw00797slc-links.entry19

Song Lyrics directory                    [ last modified: 2009-05-23 ]


[  links to entries that contain song lyrics written by Brian A. J. Salchert ]

[ If you use my words essentially unchanged for a song, display this note:
          lyrics by Brian A. J. Salchert
   If you substantially change my words for a song, display this note:
          from lyrics by Brian A. J. Salchert
   If for whatever purpose you totally change my words for a song, display this note:
          because of lyrics by Brian A. J. Salchert
   Thank you.                                                      
   Beyond these constraints, my song lyrics may be taken at will
          because I am not a musician/composer.           February 26, 2008 ]  

001   Emmanuel Jesus Lullaby
----- see 2007/12/25/sw00756st69-Christman/2558 -----
-
002   Who Love
----- see 2008/01/21/sw00787st90-who.love.lyrics/2590 -----
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003   Alive With Love
-
004   Antiphon
-
005 and 006  Silent Song   |   And So There Is Love
----------- see 2008/02/13/sw00806ekua-page1/2611 -----
-
007   Young Child's Snow Song
-
008   Young Ones I Knew Who Died
-
009   Say Hi to the World
-
010   Lucy
-
011   Friends
-
012   Dark
-
013   This Being I Am
-
014   Like 1 2 3
-
015   Whistle
-
016   Go Into the Water
-
017   So
-
018   For You
-
019   Exercise
-
020   Strange Prophecy
-
021   Time
-
022   Time 2
-
023   Forces
-
024   Against Despair
-
025   When You Want Him
-
026   Warning
-
027   Boating Down the Volga
-
028   Why?
-
029   Bell Drum
-
030   Humans Being
-
031   Impasse
-
032   Sad
-
033   Of This Death
-
034   Here Comes
-                                                                      
035   Bell Toll
-
036   Dang
-
037   Find Me
-
038   Prayer
-
039   Who Is It?
-
040   The Antelopes
-
041   After Rodney Dangerfield
-
042   Git
-
043   Dreams Edge
-
044   He Knows
-
045   Gone
-
046   When
-
047   Carousel
-
048   Need
-
049   oo oo oo
-
050   Hey!
-
051   Beck 'n' Warn
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052   Her Car
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053   Provisional
-
-


Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00796v-38.poem36

Venturings



 Retrenchment


Out and about,
over and in
he'd scout
and spin

through darks and brights
beyond his breath/
until it broke
into his brain

he needed space
to breathe and flow,
not case
and stow.




-
Brian A. J. Salchert

sw00795st94-just.today

Every life is a special life, however mundane.


   Was up earlier than usual this morning/ because I needed to be
ready by eight o'clock.  Had a bone density scan appointment at
a Cox South clinic, and my local sister would be here by then to
drive me there.  Luckily, at that time it was not raining.  After my
scan, we headed toward doing some small-essentials shopping,
but we stopped for a quick breakfast first.  Today was primary
day in this state.  I told her I wasn't up to dealing with it.  When 
I got around to reconnecting my computer system, it still wasn't
raining.  Was only on long enough to change the date in my All
About Me space and delete most of what was below my blog's
name.  That was after noon.  Had to quickly get off and unplug
my system's connections again because lightning and rumblings
were coursing near.  Tried to read some Wordsworth prose
selections but had to quit because I couldn't stay awake.  Close
to 5 PM enough of a break came.  So I went online again but
went to other sites.  Now it is 8:28, and the storms have shifted
eastward.  My spirit feels like Swiss cheese.

   Though there is so much I need to do and so much I want to
do, I cannot yet gather my attentions sufficiently to do them.
Tomorrow will be considerably colder.  However, it will not be
raining.  Summon ye forces while ye may.

   Most of the links in the Other Journals sidebar are to blogs
maintained by poets.  The links in the Favorite Sites sidebar
are really more to places of interest than to places I favor.  I
do favor Astronomy Pik of the Day.  Take a look.  You might
find one or more to your liking.



-
Brian A. J. Salchert